Month: January 2014

How To Lose Someone Who Was Never Truly Yours

Thought Catalog

You were mine for a heartbeat.

I remember the first time we met, both a little drunk on white wine. I needed the liquid confidence that night. Your lips were unfamiliar then, seemingly incompatible with mine. I remember thinking you were a little silly-childish even- and that your laugh was strange. I didn’t think I would ever see you again.

I don’t know how it started, but your voice found its way into my head. You became the first person I spoke to when I rose in the mornings and the last before I closed my eyes. I wish I could remember our conversations; it’s funny how the smallest details mean the most in the end.

I remember being scared. I didn’t understand how someone like you could be attracted to someone like me. I was a naïve girl clinging to the ghosts of the past, insecure and shy, dating…

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regret…

Member when we argued on the concept of regret?
You were an expert even then but not me, not yet
Now all you gotta do’s remind me that we met
And there ya got me, that’s how you got me, taught me to regret

Member how I asked you why are you so mean?
You didn’t know how react to bein’ seen
I tried to be your friend, you made me seem so ?
And there ya got me, that’s how you got me, ya taught me to be mean
I ran out of white dove feathers
To soak up the hot piss that comes through your mouth
Every time you address me

Member when I was so sick and you didn’t believe me?
Then you got sick too and guess who took care of you?
You hated that, didn’t you? Didn’t you?
Now when you look at me, you’re condemned to see
The monster your mother made you to be
And there ya got me, that’s how you got free, you got rid of me
Alone
Leave me alone
Leave me alone, leave me alone
Leave me alone, leave me alone
Alone

I need an attitude adjustment. I will work on it.

And, I met George Takei…awesome.