music

the girl with the most cake

I LOVE LOVE LOVE HOLE! COURTNEY LOVE!

In the last year and a half I have spent too much time wondering/obsessing over where/how/why my ex-husband split in the middle of the night and left me with a lot of shit to deal with, 2 confused pissed off teenagers, and a shattered ego.  Yesterday morning after work I was having a “can’t sleep wildly obsessing” session I got a message from a friend.

“I’m glad he’s gone, I didn’t like him.  He had hair like a baby chimpanzee.  There, it’s out. I said it.  Thank God you didn’t have a kid with that monchichi. gross.”

She pulled me out of the rabbit hole just like that.  She continues with “How’s work?  Is ICU blah? All stabbings, gerbils in not so pretty places and old people shit?”  This girl is Hilarious, to me anyway, going on and on…then she just says, “like always, you pull through.”

Snap! I do and I did.  I had a huge moment of clarity.  Most important being that my ex was an asshole and nobody liked him.   People always made comments, he hated all of my friends, etc, but I guess my perspective was so twisted up I made excuses for him.   He’s gone and that’s my gain, in every way possible.   All he wanted as to be the “man” in his “industry.”  He uses people to his advantage, always would find new hobbies too impress/gain friendships.  All of this has to do with his daddy issues and he calls his mom “Mother.” OK, Norman Bates.  I’m done wasting my time obsessing with that person.

I have other rabbit holes and obsessions like music, seeing Montage of Heck, finding tickets to the sold out Peter Hook show, raising 2 teenagers, get more letters after my name besides RN, CCRN….i need more, because the powers that be are lame.  I have to join the “groove cruise” with girlfriends, I have dates to go on,  music blogs to read,  and regular life crap to do.  Bald Move, Mad Men, Penny Dreadful, Game of Thrones, and driving all over Texas to see Courtney Love. (I met her during the Live Through This tour and she was so nice and down to earth.) People give her too much shit.

thanks to my grrrlfriend and this..

 

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“and I heard AMEN!”

when southern religion goes wrong it sounds so damn good!  meaning when parents or whomever water boards Christianity upon a chid the end result can be wet alright.  Tori Amos, the Toadies, Joan Osbourne, the old Southern Blues make a dunk in the pond o’ baptism sound like hot sex and “dripping mangos.”  repressed sexuality and fear of eternal damnation has given me some damn good, cumming out of my eyeballs, sonic climaxes that are better then the act of sex itself.  It’s like God’s hand, or the Goddesses, unzipping the flesh off these bones and leaving me wide open to soak up all that good sexy evil…

this horizontal line….wow